Friday, October 16, 2015

It's CYBER-TIME

Well, I am under strict instructions from a dear, dear friend to write something that will make her laugh or at least smile.  With everything going on in my life I feel overwhelmingly sad so much of the time that I’m wallowing in grief.  But I guess this wise woman (Shirley) is telling me that I need to find some humor in the world…so, I’ll guess I’ll table my “Mourning the Marriage” post for the moment and try...
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On the bus ride in to Manhattan — the Vamoose bus I might add — not to be confused with the Megabus or the Bolt bus — this was the VAMOOSE bus — and as we were vamoosing our way through New Jersey into the Big Apple, there it was — 
a big huge billboard message screaming out to me — 


How’s YOUR Cyber-Hygiene?

Geez.  My cyber-hygiene?  

I got enough problems with my personal hygiene. 

When it comes to personal hygiene, I don’t know.  I’m not a germaphobe.  I don’t fanatically wash my hands.  I don’t use hand sanitizer of ANY kind.  Does it make me an unclean person?

I also have given up on being hairless which apparently is a sign of excellent personal hygiene (for females). 

I mean you LOVE the lustrous mane of hair on my head but that same hair elsewhere on my body?  No way!  Get rid of it!  It’s not attractive!     But why? 

To me that hypocrisy is the same as the people who look with horror at those elsewhere in the world who eat horse or dog.  How’s that any different than eating cow or pig?  

Cause we somehow erased the actual animal by calling it beef and pork?  Are you kidding me?

And if my personal hygiene weren’t enough of a worry there’s my FEMININE hygiene to grapple with…

Why is it that Matthew McConaughey can go without showering or using deodorant and his body odor is considered “masculine musk” (with great appeal to the ladies) but if a woman doesn’t cleanse and perfume and use expensive products to completely mask HER body scent, she just SMELLS.

Personal hygiene, my feminine hygiene, now there’s CYBER hygiene to worry about. Geez.
                       


Speaking of cyber hygiene…the NJCCIC...the New Jersey Cybersecurity & Communications Integration Cell (the WHAT?) wants you to know that October is Cyber Security Awareness Month and they're asking — 

“Due for a cyber hygiene check?  We can help.”

Well, thank God SOMEONE can help. 

I’m gonna give these folks a call and while I’ve got them on the phone, maybe THEY can give me some pointers on my you-know-what…

[Shirley?  Are you laughing?]


2 comments:

  1. You are just a total hoot!! (LL)

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    Replies
    1. Well if it made you laugh, then mission accomplished!

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