Tuesday, November 24, 2015

What I'm Thankful For


The past nine months have been a real rollercoaster for me.  Much has been heart-wrenching, reflectively sad and personally painful.  But oh the serendipities, surprises,  warmths, and friendship that has been shown to me during this rollercoaster ride. 

I won't name names because there are so many (and I'm fearful I'll forget someone) but I hope that you will recognize yourselves and know the importance and the value of your gifts to me.

I am thankful for the people who have opened their apartments, their homes — for a night, for a weekend, for a week, for a month, for FOUR months.  The individuals who have lent me their cars, given me luggage, and taken me for my first (and most luxurious) facial at the hands of an expert Hungarian (at the Fountain Spa!).

I am thankful for the friends from elementary school, high school, college, first job at Random House, and many jobs since, hometown friends who have picked me up, dropped me off, driven me from here to there (even from New Jersey to Virginia!), fed me breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and listened to me cry, rant, whine, moan, expound and exhilarate over my daily logistical and emotional challenges. 

I am astounded at the complete generosity of those who have not seen me for months, years, decades, and have issued open invitations to come visit — even from a person I've yet to meet!  I wonder if I would be so generous if the tables were turned.  I hope so.

I am confounded by the wisdom I have been offered by longtime friends, former work colleagues, therapists, childhood chums, total strangers who have crossed paths with me on a subway or a bus or a plane.  In person, by phone or Skype, card, email.  At all hours of the day and night.  The words have comforted me, the actions have saved me, the love and affection has been a Godsend in a time when my heart was going from full to empty and back again and back again.

In spite of the multitude of changes — some good, some not, I feel both the support of my husband, son, and daughter and the loss of my sister and mother during a time when almost no one else can take their place and no one can fill the space of the tremendous loss I feel still

And with all this thankfulness I keep reminding myself that the road is one step forward, four steps back, one more reflection and rethinking, one more unraveling of what was and what needs to be, one more recognition of what is possible (or not) in future.

For someone whose always been a strategic planner, it's a tough journey to be on without a plan.

More wisdom and encouragement sent from a friend.

to all my friends near, far, and wide.