Friday, March 28, 2014

Wallowing in Self-Awareness

I know a lot about myself.  I'm pretty self-aware.  Why I'm behaving the way I am.  Why I'm struggling.  I get that my reality is different now, that the roles I have always filled are no longer available to me. I realize that it's up to me to make the changes necessary to create a new path for myself.

So what's stopping me?

What gets in the way of doing what I always said I'd do if I had the time?

I have the time.

I'm not doing shit.

Yes, I'm cooking, taking care of family stuff, doing some volunteering, some working, some networking. But the big stuff?  Not happening.  

Fear of failure?  Fear of success?  Fear of fill-in-the-blank  I just seem stuck.

For two years I've been writing and posting twice a week like clockwork.  I haven't written anything for almost two months.  

To remedy that particular hurdle (one of many in my life at present) I've joined a writing group.  And they have been incredibly supportive and helpful to me.  Their feedback?  Rework my writing into a book.


Seems a tall order.  Especially since I'm stuck.

But I'm gonna try.  

Which means less blog-writing.  More focus on telling a fuller story that flows.

So less wallowing in self-awareness  and more  more being self-aware.