The Weight of Weight

I weigh more than I should.  Perhaps I always have.  It certainly feels that way.  Last fall I visited with a childhood friend and I was SO happy to see her, be with her, catch up on our lives.  While we were laughing, reminiscing, sharing, it did cross my mind that she'd put on weight, more than was healthy for her (forgive me, M) but, BUT — when I saw the pictures my husband had taken of us — I was floored because I was just as heavy!  REALLY.  The pot thinking the kettle was black.  I look in a mirror every day but I didn't see myself that way, that weight.  Woke me up.

In high school, when everyone else (well, those in my periphery) was 100 or 101, I was 107.  I was on the cheerleading squad, played sports all year long but I was short and I always felt chunky.  Then when they were 110, I was 117 or 121 or 130. As the years went on, high school gone, I kept cooking more, eating more, and "exercising" less.  

Some women never get on a scale.  Others go to weigh themselves once a week at a weight-loss place or a gym or fitness center.  And then there are the women who weigh themselves every day.  There is controversy about this approach.  Just a simple Google search will provide:

How Often Should You Weigh Yourself & When Is The Best Time?

5 Reasons You Can Skip Weighing Yourself

Daily weigh-in key to keeping pounds off 

6 Reasons Why Weighing Yourself is a Bad Idea

Daily Weigh-In May Help Dieters Lose

My friends Susan (in New York) and Kate (in Paris) weigh themselves daily — good, bad or indifferent.  At first, I thought that was complete lunacy but now I see it differently.  I guess it gives them a daily read on where they stand and allows them to adjust their eating accordingly.  That sounds sane to me.

Over the years as milestones came and went, my weight fluctuated, but the last 15 years I've been pretty consistent — not that I was fit.  And I should be.  My friend Michelle (in Chile), SHE is fit.  Unbelievably physically fit — like play Ultimate Frisbee, hike Machu Picchu, scuba-dive in the Galapagos, climb Angel Falls fit — but she's not thin — and that's okay.

To be healthier I do need to lose some weight — but I've given up on thin and that is healthy.  Thin was never going to be me.  I wanted to accept my physical self and not always be judging, judging, judging.  It took decades for me to feel comfortable with how I looked and felt.  But then that photo — sigh.

My friends Carol, Janet, and Linda have stayed as fit and thin as they were four decades ago!  Julie in Ohio looks as she did in college (while the other four of us don't).  My friend Maria (inspired by her friend Susie) grabbed hold of herself, cut out the carbs, started exercising religiously and looks terrific.

My daughter tells me when people are stressed they gravitate to salty foods.  

Here's the sneaky thing about potato chips — they're just so damn light.