Sunday, October 13, 2013

Standing Up

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Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself.  

     It can be difficult.
  
                                           It can be painful.  
                                                    
                                                                It can hurt others.

                                                      
Still, there comes a time when you've just got to make the choice and not back down in favor of others.

If you're familiar with the Hyde School, you know one of the principles they advocate is: 
TRUTH
over
Harmony

How many of us prize truth over keeping the peace?  How many of us are willing to sacrifice our comfort when we are in the company of someone  at work, at play, at home  who tells a racist joke?  That kind of comment is damaging in a profound way, but it's not directed at us and so we duck standing up.  We stay silent.  We let it go by while thinking in our head how awful and inappropriate but we don't speak up.  

And while I wouldn't equate a racial slur in the same way, what about when the comment is closer to home?  What about when someone near to us disappoints us, doesn't come through?  Who among us can stomach confronting a family member or a friend who has hurt or offended us in some way?  I got this random email with the image at right and it resonated with me. Standing up is hard to do especially when there's no guarantee that it will make things better. There is a cost to standing up.

Over the years I've learned to overlook many things.  In my family, when trouble came, it was hidden.  When I was in high school, my father was gone for almost a year.  We told everyone he was living in Arizona because of his rheumatoid arthritis  but the truth was  for almost that entire time   we didn't know where he was.    And we weren't allowed to tell anyone.   

Keeping that secret was living a lie  day-in and day-out.

There is a cost to staying silent.

I'm tired of paying the price.

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