Sunday, April 29, 2012

Censoring

In the movie The Art of Getting By, the main character George has one last chance to avoid expulsion from school his senior year.  He is given one option: make up in three weeks every single assignment he’s ever been given by all his teachers — essentially a year’s worth of work — do it, or fail and be expelled. And, each teacher has to be satisfied with the results.  He's overwhelmed by what he's facing.  


He gets one break.  George's art teacher says — if you make just ONE painting that’s completely your own vision, that’s real and authentic and if you paint that — that’ll be  achieving the equivalent of all my assignments.   He tells him that it’ll take facing some fear you have in you, but, if you look it in the eye, stare it in the face, then what you produce will be great.

When I worried about how what I might write in this blog would effect others or change what people thought of me, my husband told me that if I followed the advice George got and wrote what was true for me (my itals), then that’s what I had to do.  


In other words.  The way I heard that was: DON’T censor.

I have spent my life always censoring — thinking maybe I shouldn't because of this…or that...or her…or him…or a million countless other reasons, but all of a sudden — at this point in my life — I’m asking: WHY?

Who knows what’s next?

Is it worth it to keep postponing your truth for later?

Is it egocentric to speak for yourself — finally?

I'm getting better at processing disappointments more quickly and figuring out what sends me plummeting back to the depths of childhood.  

This censoring’s got to stop.

18 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. Of course I'm still out here! I can't speak for the rest of the world, but please don't interpret lack o commenting as lack o interest or reading. What did George do? I find the title of the film as intriguing as the piece of the plot that you shared.

      Jenni

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    2. George just GOOFED OFF and then had to face the music...! thanks for being out there

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  2. Although my truth doesn't always set me free, it does help me understand my warden a little better. And if we can get her on our side, the opinion of the parole board isn't so important. Go for it!!

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    1. well let's hope we stop imprisoning ourselves!

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  3. Still here, absorbing - these reflections have a way of setting us free!

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  4. Still here, still reading and thinking about you. I don't comment much on blogs, but can give you more feedback, if you like.

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  5. Keep writing! We are reading with voracious appetite for your words, your truths and your insight. You are not alone, and your words help remind us that we are not alone either with our same internal doubts, optimistic hopes and dealing with past conflicts. Keep writing, we are reading.

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  6. Some lines from a book I'm reading about what one woman learned about being herself from a near-death experience: "I don't recall ever being encouraged to cherish myself--in fact, it would never even have occurred to me to do so. It's commonly thought of as being selfish. But...[i]n the tapestry of life, we're all connected. Each one of us is a gift to those around us, helping each other be who we are, weaving a perfect picture together. ... Realizing this made me understand that I didn't have to try to become someone else in order to be worthy. I already am all that I could attempt to be. ... Instead, we just have to be true to ourselves, and we become instruments of loving energy, which touches everyone we come into contact with" (Moorjani, Dying to Be Me, 138-139). Keep letting your love and your loveliness shine through any potentially censoring filters, and inspiring us all to do the same! K

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    1. thank you, that is an inspiring quotation!

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  7. Keep writing because I am still reading! Your words are thought provoking, inspiring, and sincere. I enjoy your posts!

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  8. Lorraine E. HardingApril 30, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    I have censored all of my life. I call it processing. It keeps me out of trouble. If I do not listen to that little voice that chimes in and tells me what to do after I process, it has almost always had fatal consequences.....ok maybe not fatal but let's just say "unintended consequences"

    Lorraine
    Seneca,SC

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    1. let's hope the years ahead allow for more freedom and less censoring...for both of us.

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  9. Yes still reading eagerly. Just have hit a busy patch in our semester. Thank you for sharing your writing so generously. May you inspire the rest of us to do so as well.

    NU-K
    northern California

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