Censoring

In the movie The Art of Getting By, the main character George has one last chance to avoid expulsion from school his senior year.  He is given one option: make up in three weeks every single assignment he’s ever been given by all his teachers — essentially a year’s worth of work — do it, or fail and be expelled. And, each teacher has to be satisfied with the results.  He's overwhelmed by what he's facing.  


He gets one break.  George's art teacher says — if you make just ONE painting that’s completely your own vision, that’s real and authentic and if you paint that — that’ll be  achieving the equivalent of all my assignments.   He tells him that it’ll take facing some fear you have in you, but, if you look it in the eye, stare it in the face, then what you produce will be great.

When I worried about how what I might write in this blog would effect others or change what people thought of me, my husband told me that if I followed the advice George got and wrote what was true for me (my itals), then that’s what I had to do.  


In other words.  The way I heard that was: DON’T censor.

I have spent my life always censoring — thinking maybe I shouldn't because of this…or that...or her…or him…or a million countless other reasons, but all of a sudden — at this point in my life — I’m asking: WHY?

Who knows what’s next?

Is it worth it to keep postponing your truth for later?

Is it egocentric to speak for yourself — finally?

I'm getting better at processing disappointments more quickly and figuring out what sends me plummeting back to the depths of childhood.  

This censoring’s got to stop.